Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Caught By Surprise

Last night I was talking to my stepson Brenden about my mother dying.  He was unable to come to the memorial services because he was on spring break with his mother.  I wanted to talk with him about it a little and see how he felt and ask if  he had any questions. It had occurred to me that this was the only death he had ever experienced, aside from his great grandfather who died just weeks after he was born.  Or so I thought.  He reminded me otherwise....

Me: "This is the first person that you have know that has died, right?"

Brenden: "Well, except for Clarence"

I knew that.  It's not like I didn't know that.  I just didn't expect him to say that.  I wasn't even sure how much Clarence's death affected him because he never got the chance to meet him.

I looked @ him and kinda smiled.  "You mean your brother Clarence?" I said.  I asked because this was also the name of his great grandfather.

He nodded.

I don't remember my exact words after that.  I know I was happy (is that the right word?)... pleased maybe... that he remembered.  And more than a little embarrassed that I "forgot".  Not that I really forgot.  I mean, how could I?  I just didn't think he would consider that the same I guess?  I don't know.  It's hard to put into words why it caught me by surprise, but it did.  I knew his death had a profound affect on me and my husband.  I knew my mother's world crumbled when he died.. and yes my father and my in laws as well, but my mother for sure.  I guess I just never realized how it affected him.  It made my heart grow with warmth and love for him.  He truly is a great kid and I am so blessed to call him my son.


Brenden with Kensington

6 comments:

Shana said...

Oh bless his heart. I can see why you "forgot" so don't feel bad. You are blessed with 4 beautiful children.

Michele said...

How sweet... What a special boy.

cenichols said...

Brenden is our oldest grandson and he is very special. It warms my heart, too, that he remembered. He's like his Dad was. He doesn't express himself often and doesn't offer conversation unless you ask him something. Mommaw and Poppaw Nichols

sazzifrazz said...

That brought tears to my eyes. Kids are such little sponges, but they keep it in until we least expect it.

jimenagleza said...

hi! my name is Jimena, I´m mexican, i don´t speak english but..
yo quiero decirte que comparto ese dolor que sientes tu, mi esposo y yo perdimos a una baby, y eso es lo más doloroso, yo todabía no he superado esa perdida, pero yo he aprendido a vivir con este dolor. A mi me reconforta recordar a mi hija. lameto lo sucedido y te envio desde aqui mi más sentido pésame.

este blog te puede servir:
http://eraenabril.foroactivo.com/

bye.

Sharon said...

Your mom was a very special lady..so full of life..she does live on..she is in my heart every day.