Saturday, November 28, 2009

Wish You Were Here

A year ago today my sweet boy Clarence William entered this world silent. The tiniest of angels, he arrived @ 5:24 am only 10.2 ounces and 10 inches long. Happy Birthday sweet boy. You have changed our lives forever! We love and miss you everyday!

Friday, November 13, 2009

36 weeks 5 days

That's how far along I was when I gave birth to Kensington.
I will be 36 week and 5 days pregnant with this baby on November 28th... the day, last year, my sweet boy Clarence came into this world without a sound. Kind of ironic I think. It has me worried.
Please let this baby stay put in my womb longer than that. This seems to be the only thing I can think about lately. I want November 28th for Clarence. I want November for Clarence.
Please let December be for this baby.

Thursday, November 12, 2009


Tonight I am trying to get some things ready for the new baby on the way. In doing this I ran across a few things that were purchased for Clarence. A little preemie outfit that my mother bought, when we didn't know what to expect when he was delivered and I didn't want him to be naked. As tiny as it is it would've completely engulf him. A blanket my mother bought just weeks before he died. A little bib that says "I'm The Little Brother" on it and has dinosaurs, part of my first and only purchase for my son.
I've thought about it and thought about it. What to do with this stuff. Up until now it has been neatly tucked away with other mementos of his. Tonight, with the help of Chad, I decided it would be OK to put them in the wash with this baby's clothes. Chad says he thinks it would be OK with Clarence for his little brother to have these things.
Isn't that what big brothers do anyhow? Hand down their clothes and toys and friendship to their little brothers? This will be the one and only time Clarence is able to do that. It will bring a smile to my mouth and a tear to my eye every time I see this little baby wearing that bib or sleeper, or snuggling that blanket. I'll be sad that he is gone, but also so happy he is here. A part of our family still and always.
So bittersweet.