Sunday, August 30, 2009

9 Months & A Birthday

As of the 28th it has been nine months since we said goodbye to our sweet boy. I made a mental note of it @ the beginning of the week, that the day was approaching. It wasn't until I crawled into bed on the evening of the 28th that I realized what day it was. It had been a horribly emotional day. Overwhelmed, stressed, on edge and just worn out. A lot of that had to do with my daughters birthday party coming up the next day. And then that brought about another thought. At Kensi's party last year I was newly pregnant with Clarence and we hadn't told our friends and family yet. It was so exciting b/c after the cake and ice cream we changed her into an outfit that said "I'm the Big sister" and waited for everyone to notice. What sweet memories. I look back @ those pictures from her party, when he was safely snuggled inside of me and smile. Then I want to cry. Because that was the innocent me. The innocent us. So unaware of the storm ahead of us. That just in a few months our world would split down the middle and we would go tumbling through the crack.

5 comments:

Michele said...

Thinking of Clarence on his 9 month birthday. Happy Birthday, sweet baby boy... Watch over mommy and daddy and your little sibling...

Sending hugs to you...

Shana said...

Oh Alisha. I am so sorry. I do pray for you and hope you feel better. I know you hurt and just remember to think of the good and hold tight to little Kensi and the new baby and let them know about Clarence as they grow and cherish his memory. By the way I just wanted to tell you that my Dad's name is Clarence.

Barbara said...

Thinking of you and sweet Clarence.

xxx

Catherine W said...

I'm so sorry. I wish I could bring that innocence back to you and your family. It must be heart breaking to look at the photographs from Kensi's party.

Those last two sentences, that is exactly how it feels.

Remembering your beautiful boy, Clarence William. xx

Leila's mommy said...

i wish we could all have our innocence back. to not know sorrow so intimately, to know life after the loss of a baby. it's just so awful and i wish i could take it all away for all of us.
Happy 9 month birthday to Clarence!
with love,
christy