Tonight I am trying to get some things ready for the new baby on the way. In doing this I ran across a few things that were purchased for Clarence. A little preemie outfit that my mother bought, when we didn't know what to expect when he was delivered and I didn't want him to be naked. As tiny as it is it would've completely engulf him. A blanket my mother bought just weeks before he died. A little bib that says "I'm The Little Brother" on it and has dinosaurs, part of my first and only purchase for my son.
I've thought about it and thought about it. What to do with this stuff. Up until now it has been neatly tucked away with other mementos of his. Tonight, with the help of Chad, I decided it would be OK to put them in the wash with this baby's clothes. Chad says he thinks it would be OK with Clarence for his little brother to have these things.
Isn't that what big brothers do anyhow? Hand down their clothes and toys and friendship to their little brothers? This will be the one and only time Clarence is able to do that. It will bring a smile to my mouth and a tear to my eye every time I see this little baby wearing that bib or sleeper, or snuggling that blanket. I'll be sad that he is gone, but also so happy he is here. A part of our family still and always.
So bittersweet.
