Wednesday, February 24, 2010

I Don't Know What To Do With This

I spend a lot of time on F.aceBook. It keeps me sane to keep in touch with other mommies through out the day.
Recently there was a status update going around. Usually it is a statement of some sort and if you agree with it you are supposed to copy and paste it in as your status update too. I don't usually participate, but this particular one carried a good message and I wanted to. However, I didn't know HOW to.
It was something about "My body isn't perfect, but I nurtured (fill in the blank) children....."
I think you can see where I got tripped up. Just how many children has my body grown and nurtured? 2? 3? I hesitate to say that my body nurtured Clarence b/c, well, that is why he died... my placenta kept bleeding and could no longer provide him with the nutrients he needed to grow. And yes, he lived in my womb for 20 weeks, but I feel my body failed him. Was I nurturing him... or was he suffering? I'll never know. I'd like to think it was the former. It certainly appeared he was thriving, well, until he wasn't... right up until the day before his little heart stopped beating, he appeared to be thriving.
I didn't re post it, because, well..... I just didn't know what to do with it.


Michele said...

I wouldnt know what to say either...

Leila's mommy said...

i stuggle with this too. the thought of Leila suffering in my belly just kills me and therefore i question how well my body nurtured her. should i be proud that i carried her for those months? or be ashamed of my body for failing her, as it so obviously did. would somebody call me out on this? no, of course not, but sometimes i just don't want to put myself out there to take the chance. maybe i am ashamed? sigh... why does it have to be this way? it's just so unfair.
i'm on fb by the way, i've got a button on my blog if you'd like to find me.
much love,

Kathy2579 said...

Alisha please know that I too lost two past 20 weeks on different times. What I say is I have 4 children.Two of them are here with me and 2 are waiting to meet their brothers someday. I know it is a person choice to say if you have had losses like this. HUGS and know if you want to talk I am here.