Friday, February 18, 2011

Hello Out There

Hi.  I haven't been around much.  Two kids have me pretty busy.  I've been thinking about Clarence a lot lately though.  Not that I ever don't think of him, but I just have been thinking of him even more.  I miss his lazy kicks and thumps in my belly.  I wish he had been born alive and survived and was now a thriving 2 year old.  I wish, I wish, I wish.

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Light a candle on Oct. 15 for babies lost to miscarriage or stillbirth

October 15th is Pregnancy & Infant Loss Remembrance Day.  Please take a moment to view this video and remember to light a candle @ 7PM YOUR time on that day. Leave it burning for at least an hour so that there will be a continuous wave of light throughout the globe in remembrance of our precious little ones, gone too soon.

 To view remembrance events taking place in your area, please visit HERE.

Sunday, June 13, 2010

Blaze 'n' Crochet: Strider PREBike Review and GIVEAWAY!!!

Blaze 'n' Crochet: Strider PREBike Review and GIVEAWAY!!!

I so wanna win this bike for Kensi!! Check out this awesome give away!

Friday, May 14, 2010


I can't believe my mom is dead. 

The soundtrack of my mind?

My mom is dead.  My mother is dead.  My mom DIED.  My mom is dead.  DEAD.   I can't believe my mother is dead.  My mom is dead.





Repeat, over & over & over......

Sunday, May 2, 2010

A Beautiful Day To Honor Beautiful Mothers

Thank you Carly!

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Caught By Surprise

Last night I was talking to my stepson Brenden about my mother dying.  He was unable to come to the memorial services because he was on spring break with his mother.  I wanted to talk with him about it a little and see how he felt and ask if  he had any questions. It had occurred to me that this was the only death he had ever experienced, aside from his great grandfather who died just weeks after he was born.  Or so I thought.  He reminded me otherwise....

Me: "This is the first person that you have know that has died, right?"

Brenden: "Well, except for Clarence"

I knew that.  It's not like I didn't know that.  I just didn't expect him to say that.  I wasn't even sure how much Clarence's death affected him because he never got the chance to meet him.

I looked @ him and kinda smiled.  "You mean your brother Clarence?" I said.  I asked because this was also the name of his great grandfather.

He nodded.

I don't remember my exact words after that.  I know I was happy (is that the right word?)... pleased maybe... that he remembered.  And more than a little embarrassed that I "forgot".  Not that I really forgot.  I mean, how could I?  I just didn't think he would consider that the same I guess?  I don't know.  It's hard to put into words why it caught me by surprise, but it did.  I knew his death had a profound affect on me and my husband.  I knew my mother's world crumbled when he died.. and yes my father and my in laws as well, but my mother for sure.  I guess I just never realized how it affected him.  It made my heart grow with warmth and love for him.  He truly is a great kid and I am so blessed to call him my son.

Brenden with Kensington

Wednesday, March 31, 2010


Clarence has company in Heaven.  My mother, his grandma Gigi, died on March 23rd. 

That is about all I can manage right now.  I am still in shock.