Wednesday, February 24, 2010

I Don't Know What To Do With This

I spend a lot of time on F.aceBook. It keeps me sane to keep in touch with other mommies through out the day.
Recently there was a status update going around. Usually it is a statement of some sort and if you agree with it you are supposed to copy and paste it in as your status update too. I don't usually participate, but this particular one carried a good message and I wanted to. However, I didn't know HOW to.
It was something about "My body isn't perfect, but I nurtured (fill in the blank) children....."
I think you can see where I got tripped up. Just how many children has my body grown and nurtured? 2? 3? I hesitate to say that my body nurtured Clarence b/c, well, that is why he died... my placenta kept bleeding and could no longer provide him with the nutrients he needed to grow. And yes, he lived in my womb for 20 weeks, but I feel my body failed him. Was I nurturing him... or was he suffering? I'll never know. I'd like to think it was the former. It certainly appeared he was thriving, well, until he wasn't... right up until the day before his little heart stopped beating, he appeared to be thriving.
I didn't re post it, because, well..... I just didn't know what to do with it.