Friday, March 20, 2009

Ignorance Is Bliss, Right?

The other day I came across a beautiful blog called "Stepping Stones" by Emily. She wrote a post entitled "Lightening Strikes" that really struck (no pun intended) me. I was in awe of the actual statistics. According to there are 6 million pregnancies every year throughout the United States. Out of those 6 million pregnancies approximately 2 million don't survive. That is 1/3 of all pregnancies!!

Then why don't we hear more about it? I mean yes, we do hear how common miscarriages are and how many women have a miscarriage and don't even realize they were pregnant. Their period was just a few days late. Please don't misunderstand me. I am not talking light of miscarriage. It is devastating in it's own right. Any pregnancy loss is a tragedy. Any pregnancy loss is painful. The potential for that child to be brought into this world will never again be. That is earth shattering no matter how far along you are in your pregnancy. Days, weeks or months. But what about all the stillbirths? Cord accidents? You rarely hear about them until you or someone close to you has been through it. I've been told what happened to Clarence was a "fluke". I have been told it is like being hit by lightening and the chances of it happening twice are minuscule. However everywhere I turn I hear of more babies dying. I spoke with a friend yesterday on Facebook who told me her cousin just lost her baby @ 38 weeks pregnant. The heartbeat wasn't there. Apparently a cord accident. It was wrapped around her neck. A "fluke". God I hate that word.

Since the death of Clarence there are people everywhere just coming out of the woodwork to tell me about this person that had a stillborn or that person who had preterm labor and lost their baby. It seems so common... yet it is never spoken of. Why aren't we told by our OB's the true statistics about pregnancy? That there truly is NO guarantee? It isn't over until the fat lady sings so to speak. Until you bring home a healthy, squealing, squirming baby in your arms.... Well you just may end up being one of those statistics.

I suppose there are many reasons they don't tell you. Can you imagine the slew of panicky pregnant women? They already have do deal with the ones who are no longer blissfully ignorant about the odds. I'm guessing they don't want to add to the hysteria they already have to deal with. Let those other lucky ladies remain blissfully ignorant. I am envious of them. I will never have that again. I loved being pregnant and can't wait to be again. But it will never be the same as it was with my daughter. I am so grateful for my wonderful pregnancy with her. My blissfully ignorant pregnancy....


Rach said...

I agree - its terrible that these things are not dicussed. I know my baby book had a small section on still births and neonatal death.

Its hard to be all positive about a pregnancy when we now know what can really go wrong. I am actually pleased that none of my friends are pregnant as I would find it so hard not to tell them about the reality... xxx

stina978 said...

If only we could be so lucky as lightening strike victims..... and and blissful as we were in our first pregnancies, I have thought about this over and over, I want more but I will always have this fear... I HATE being on the 'bad' side of the statistics

(((HUGS))) my friend

Anonymous said...

Yes, it's sad that we don't really talk about it - I perpetuate this myself because I can't bring myself to ruin other people's innocence. I wish I was back on the other side.

ezra'smommy said...

I always say the same, I wish I knew...But I look back and know that I wouldn't have been able to really listen. Love and hugs.

Anonymous said...

I knew, yet it still happened. That sometimes makes it harder. I wasn't able to enjoy my pregnancy. They kept telling me she'd be stillborn and then she was born alive and I couldn't let myself believe she'd be ok. And she wasn't. I with pg and infant loss were more discussed. I wish people didn't look at me like a freak when I'm sobbing 18 months after her death.

There are a lot of things I wish. Just remember we are making a difference. We may not see it but every time we mention our children 1 more person listens